Saturday 9 April 2011

The Faces of the Crow


The Crow is once again being rebooted. Because of which Movie Cake want to take you on a tour of all the faces of The Crow and how many excused they’ve given the Crow to wear makeup and look like a girl. It’s the origin of so many Halloween costumes the world over. Iconic as it is it’s becoming increasingly farfetched, obvious and tedious to see a dude put on make-up over and over again treating the viewer like they don’t know the character in front of them even though he’s been reincarnated more times than Batman. Without further adieu- Movie Cake’s look at the faces of the Crow.


Eric Draven
This one will be the most familiar. Lifted heavily from the original James O Barr graphic novel (as did most the plot and dialogue, scenes of the movie). It’s the dreaded cliché Halloween costume. And there’s always one person who has to wear the big boots, long leather jacket and splatter it this look over his face with his mums makeup.

The Transition: The sequence showed Eric Dravan and his murdered wife playing with the comedy and tragedy masks. Sitting in front of a cracked mirror Eric coats his face with his girlfriend’s make-up using the hanging masks as a muse for his new ego.

Rating: The metaphors are all there, although there never really is an explanation why he needs to put on the makeup other than ‘the crow made me do it’
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6/8 Slices of Cake

Ashe Corven
No real difference here but it’s the first ‘sequel’ which makes the films carry on the Crow legacy rather than the Eric Dravan one. In this guise he just looks a bit of a douche. Note on other pictures is top is ripped from the waist making this easily the most camp of the Crows. The hairs different but other than that it doesn’t steer too far away from the original. Oh and the film blowed.

The Transition: After being shot dead with his son and dropped into the ocean bed Ashe rises up and looks upon the face paints of his son and erm. Paints his face.

Rating: Again, it was trying to go for that metaphor. Like he’s wearing the face of his son. However, no broody soundtrack or visuals can really cover the fact they reusing a formula, and doing it poorly.

3/8 Slices of Cake

Jimmy Cuervo
Groan. This is the last of the films before they decided to go back to the Eric Dravan story. And gad, it looks just like the same old tripe we’re use to before. If you think that’s bad listen to the long winded story they give to why he puts makeup on! This film made me want to kick myself in the head. And probably why they decided to reboot the franchise and stop giving us turds wrapped up in vomit.

The Transition: I actually groaned just now I shit you not. Basically this tries to be different and it takes the character out of the urban environment into a Mexican rural setting. Jimmy gets murdered and decides to dress up like he did at a festival he went to a year before. This isn’t milking it. This is scraping the skin of the cow trying to turn the fucking skin into milk. Dreadful.

Rating: No metaphor this time just shit. The fact they took it out of the usual setting was an interesting idea but overall it felt too strained and tried too hard to be original. Well, sorry guys you can’t do originality from copying a film.

0/8 Slices of Cake

Alex Corvis
 I’ve been saving the better of a bad bunch till last. Shorter hair this time, which doesn’t really look as cool but not that it matters anyway with this dying franchise. The crow look is created from burns after being electrocuted. Bravo. For the first time he’s not a dude experimenting with his sexuality.

Transition: After being wrongly accused of stabbing his girlfriend 57 times he is sentenced to a death sentence. After serving 3 years in prison Alex ends up in the electric chair. After waking up he peals the dead flesh from his skin to reveal his new face of the Crow.

Rating: I’ve warm feelings for this film. Not that it was any good, but it was the only one of the bunch to not have the lead put on makeup of some kind. Bring a grittier feel to the films, probably the only one of the sequels which tried to rekindle the darkness of the first while trying to remain original. Still wasn’t any good though. But kudos for doing something different, for that alone:

7/8 Slices of Cake


What about the TV show you holler? The James O Barr comic book!?? Outrage the crown preaches! Well guess what, they didn’t really differentiate all that much so I decided they weren’t worthy enough of this blog. 

Movie Cake would like to suggest that with the remake of the Crow they should completely forget the original.  Either spoof the film itself or generate a new tone, the makeup scene has been done to death.  Recreate, the platform is creation and it should be seen as such.

You can argue that there is a world of purist and loyalist out there.  But surely they will want an original piece of art rather than another regurgitated movie covering all the same check boxes.

This will either be awesome or awful.  They’ll definitely be an ‘aw’ in there somewhere anyway.

Ben Doran

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