Nude Nuns with Big Guns preview

I think Rodgers & Hammerstein missed a trick here. Men across the globe have moaned and groaned for several decades as the females in their lives force them to watch 'The Sound of Music'. These women know full well that for a man, this is a modern form of emasculation, akin to donning a pink tutu and skipping down the street. However, if Maria (see, I know her name!) had stopped singing for a minute, picked up an uzi and started picking off members of the third-reich Rambo style, I definitely would have been paying attention.

This is where 'Nude Nuns with Big Guns' finds its market value. I think all men should purchase this DVD, put it in the cupboard and wait patiently. Wait patiently until one day when your girlfriend picks up the remote and goes "Oh look at that, Sound of Music is on", even though you know full well she spied it in the TV guide several days earlier. Now after the credits roll, suggest to her that you too have a film that you should watch. Tell her it shares many similar themes, such as nuns and errmmm guns. Now sit back and smile as you watch the nudity and gore in all it's unashamed glory, don't be swayed by her requests to turn it off, she had her turn and now it's yours.

If you hadn't guessed already we're well into B-movie territory here. The story is typical revenge fare, the acting is rubbish and the special effects are typical of a low budget production. But who cares, you've got a nun going on a killing spree with an arsenal of large automatic weapons, to be honest I wasn't expecting Schindlers List.

If there's one gripe to be had, it's that the film's title is somewhat misleading. Sure there's a nun, and yes she's certainly carrying a big gun, but she's never nude and carrying a big gun. Of course I'm only going by the trailer here and there may well be a scene with a nude nun holding a gun. However, if you think about this too much (which I seem to do quite often), if she was a nude nun throughout the film she would lose the very clothes that distinguish her as a nun.

I'm tempted to buy this just to delve deeper into this philosphical enigma, I mean does a nun stop being a nun when she's naked? Answers on a postcard please.

This straight-to-DVD masterpiece is released on April 11th and it will be interesting to see if there's any complaints from the church community. Apparently they were offended by family friendly caper 'Nuns on the run' so God knows what they'll make of this.

So check out the trailer if you have the slightest urge to see a nun going on a bloody rampage. Until they make 'Sound of Music 2 : Nobody kills a Nazi like Maria', this will have to do I'm afraid.



Chris Curry