Sunday 17 April 2011

We Don’t Choose a Life, we Live One (A letter to Charlie Sheen)

Dear Charlie Sheen,
                                 you are a fool.  Why? WHY!? Because you have missed the chance to star in the upcoming film The Ways, starring your dad, Martin Sheen and directed by your brother, Emilo Estevez.
You may say that you’re living your life because you’re a Warlock who only has one gear: go.  But truth is you’ve missed out on an opportunity which has deprived you on a spiritual journey that I can only envision you need right now.

The film, which is the official selection at the Toronto Film Festival had me hooked from its trailer.  How the Hell could you of been so stupid, to be so loaded, to pass up an opportunity?

Alas, we know your comedy chops are your only ones now.  Less we forget you were once a credible actor; Wall Street; Platoon.  You’ve resorted to being booed off stage on tours, which have been flailing by the warlock load.

The Way, the film you missed out on, can be seen as a sign from your family; they’re trying to reach out to you.  Look at the plot, a man (Martin Sheen) going on a pilgrimage to scatter his son's ashes after he hears of his death.  Only earlier had his son said that ‘we don’t choose life, we live one’.  The pilgrimage is the father trying to reconnect with his son, to scatter the ashes, to find their bond.

Think it’s a coincidence Charlie!?  I love your comedy, and god dammit I’ve said I’ve been winning too many a times to actually criticise you.  But shit dude, this got me by the emotional balls and I’m weeping from the love groin.   

Watch the trailer Charlie.  Watch it and have the emotional breakdown the British tabloids are waiting for you to have... on May 13th.  When it's in cinemas.



Ben Doran

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